Christmas schizophrenia…

I think it started the other night, as Vicky and I sat out on our porch. We’d just barbequed in December and Vicky said, “I need to buy some icicle lights.”

So far. So good. Nothing terribly abnormal. Right?

Of course, it’s abnormal! And it struck me this morning like a header with one of those freeway walls that have trees etched in them! (Which, in itself, is pretty damned abnormal!) It’s December! And every Christmas tradition, cartoon, movie, television special, and everything else seems to suggest that this should be the time for sleigh bells and winter wonderlands and… white stuff that falls from the sky. No, not dandruff… not radioactive fallout… some other thing.

And there were were: Barbequing!

Icicle lights? In Orange County?

But we see them every year! Right along side the fake snowmen and the fake reindeer. Am I the only one who thinks this is just plain weird?

We need our own, temperate (weather-wise, I mean), warmer traditions. Why not trade that pine in for a palm? Get rid of those reindeer and put Santa in a Beemer… this is Orange County, after all. And for crying out loud, let’s get rid of those icicle lights and put up something more California appropriate! (What would that be? Little Corona Lights? With a neon lime?)

Come on, Orange County. Let’s hear some suggestions to make Christmas look like it belongs in our home town!

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