They must have had a moral objection…

We’ve all faced rejection at one time or another. In fact, the fabric of our short lives on this planet is generally composed of small successes, personal failures, strong relationships and yes, quite a bit of rejection. Most of the time we’re able to brace ourselves for that rejection. When it’s from someone we love or someone we lust after, it can be particularly painful. Of course being rejected by prospective employers is pretty common too – we’ve all interviewed for a job we didn’t get.

Riddle me this? Have you ever been rebuffed when trying to help someone? Have you ever been rejected when trying to lend a helping hand or when attempting to enrich the lives of others by giving of yourself? In my opinion this particular type of refusal stings the most. Here you are trying to do the right thing and you’re basically being told to get bent. Nice.

Where am I going with this? About a month ago I decided I would volunteer with Big Brothers Big Sisters of Orange County. I figured, it was an excellent opportunity to enrich the life of a child and it seemed like a good fit for me. They’re not religiously affiliated (which is what I was looking for) and they’re always looking for “bigs” to match up with “littles”. I thought to myself, “they need my help and I’m happy to give it”.

More about my personal failures after the jump…

When I got their “thanks but no thanks” letter, telling me this volunteering opportunity was not right for me, I was perplexed. I met all their minimum requirements: no criminal record, a car, insurance, gainful employment and three stellar references (my employer, a friend and a parent). Additionally I don’t drink, I don’t smoke and I don’t do drugs – and I have the desire to volunteer. Like the titanic it seemed like an unsinkable ship… until it sank. Ouch!

This rejection actually offended me! BBBS of OC has a policy of not telling its applicants why they’ve been rejected, but the reasons are pretty obvious. I assume it all boils down to the welfare of the child and they essentially told me that my spending time with a kid would somehow be harmful to them. Double ouch!

I do know this: they never called my references. So whatever happened in my interview must have really put them off. Triple ouch!

Upon reflection of the whole experience, it may have been for the best. They asked some really disconcerting and invasive questions in the interview. The most alarming of which related to what turns me on sexually and what I do in the bedroom with my wife. When I think of the vast inappropriateness of that line of questioning I sort of feel queasy.

So here’s a message to whatever little brother that could have been: Sorry dude, best of luck with whatever big brother you end up with and I’m sorry it wasn’t me. And my message to Big Brothers Big Sisters of Orange County: It’s your loss.

Anyone know of a non-religiously affiliated volunteering opportunity that might be right for me?

4 Comments so far

  1. Dave Share (unregistered) on December 7th, 2007 @ 8:32 pm

    Your wife huh? Right.

    I think CHOC needs volunteers for stuff. (As for what, I don’t know, but it seems to me they would need volunteers for the children) Seems to me your occupational ties could only help.

  2. Jon (unregistered) on December 7th, 2007 @ 11:17 pm

    Yes… my wife. Is that a cause for concern?

  3. Dave Share (unregistered) on December 8th, 2007 @ 9:19 am


    I’m sorry.

    I made assumptions that were clearly not true. I hope you can forgive me. I’m glad to hear you’re happily married! Though now I’m even MORE confused as to why BBBS didn’t want you to volunteer!

    Again….sorry!! :-/

  4. Jon (unregistered) on December 8th, 2007 @ 1:48 pm

    Oh Dave! No need to be sorry. You didn’t do anything to be sorry about. Remain calm.

    Just because I am happily married doesn’t mean I’m heterosexual. Let’s just say you’re half right. :)

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