Down With the Thickness
I read the police blotter in The Register from time to time – mostly for amusement. The things people call the police about always strike me as pretty trivial. I mean, really. Why are we so are sex obsessed? You’ll see some common offenders. Teenagers having sex in a car, people skinny-dipping in the hot tub and the couple down the street forgot to pull the blinds during their lovemaking. All of the above warrant repeated calls to the police. Why exactly would a person care enough about any of that to actually dial 911?
Teenagers are supposed to have sex in cars; everyone knows that! And what if I did walk by some skinny-dippers in the pool? Well I always told myself I’d just keep on walking. My resolve was put to the test yesterday in the drive-thru at Wendy’s when the man in front of me overshot the pick-up window.
He got out of his car and began shouting at me to back up and give him room. I couldn’t really travel in reverse because there were people behind me. Basically I was stuck. Apparently the fellow in front of me didn’t care that I couldn’t back up and really let me have it. “Show me some respect! Back the f@ck up!” When I didn’t budge – and I am not making this up – he pulled down his pants, grabbed his junk and started yelling (even louder) that I needed to respect him and if I couldn’t do that, then I could at least respect his “big black dick”!
So… Um… Yeah… After wagging it around some more, hooting like a madman and playing helicopter in the Anaheim no fly zone, the guy pulled up his drawers and yelled “Next time you’ll think twice before you disrespect someone”.
Indeed.
Did I call the police? No and apparently no one else did either because I have been watching the police blotter. Sigh. I have so many questions. Why did he take out his wang? Why did he play the race card? [smirk] Why did he flee the scene without picking up his food? We may never know… The only thing this man’s naked outburst taught me was to be quicker with my camera-phone. Now that would have been an excellent viral video.
I would have called the police. That’s not normal car sex/skinny dipping behavior, that’s crazy, potentially dangerous behavior.
Meh. He really didn’t strike me as dangerous…. odd as that sounds. Besides what am I gonna tell them? A man took off his pants and yelled at me? I’d end up sounding like the loon. :)
hahaha… you should have taken a camera out and posted the pick for posterity… and for his employers to fully understand the level of maturity they are dealing with. Yes the OC has its share of "freaks" as most large metro areas do. Some think the OC is a sleepy bedroom community of office working clones, but every once in awhile something happens to make you realize its just another hood (neighborhood). An expensive hood, yet just another neighborhood made up of all kinds. I used to work with someone who’s favorite saying was "there’s always something". Well there’s always someone also, someone who doesn’t fit the center hump of the bell curve. You just have to go on living and believe that it all comes around… I’m just waiting for the day the OC soccer mom/trophy wife gets pissed off and starts stripping in the drive through to make a point….. Relax… breath deep…