Greetings my friends. Behold the 10 Commandments of Orange County!

1. Thou shalt never ever ever ever take public transportation. Never. Ever.
2. Thou shalt wear fake eyelashes, get fake boobs and sport fake tans – “fake” is the new “real”.
3. Thou shalt always refer to our baseball team as the Anaheim Angeles no matter what their retarded brain dead owner renames them.
4. Thou shalt knock down old strip malls and replace them with new and less exciting strip malls – for no apparent reason.
5. Thou shalt always drive thy Hummer to Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s and Mother’s Market.
6. Thou shalt embrace Disneyland in all of its glory!
7. Thou shalt reserve the right to endlessly bitch and moan about Disneyland in spite of commandment number six. It’s our park and it’s a love/hate relationship.
8. Thou shalt deny the existence of The Real Housewives of Orange County as something that actually exists in the universe. You can’t make me watch it… you can’t you can’t you can’t!!!
9. Thou shalt not lie cheat and steal – unless it’s for a really good reason, like getting better grades ^[1].

And last but not least…

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s McMasnion.

The idea for this post was ripped off, er, I mean inspired by, a similar post over at the LA Metroblog ^[2]

Don’t like the commandments I came up with? Want to add your own? Feel free to leave them in the comments.