Archive for June, 2008

The License Plate Game

Today I saw this plate on my way home:


Any guesses?

Mine is that they own at least one Baskin Robbins franchise in Orange County.

Commandments Six and Seven

6. Thou shalt embrace Disneyland in all of its glory!


Hooray! Walt Disney’s Enchanted Tiki Room Room turned 45 this week! Betcha didn’t know that did you? The event was celebrated with a special merchandise release and the artists were on hand to sign their work. My wife waited out in the sweltering heat and hot hot sun for hours on Sunday to purchase the charming and lovely Rongo Bowl [above] and have it signed by the artist. Very cool (pun intended – thank you folks I’m here all week). This particular piece has a limited run of 500 and we just adore it. It’s nice and tiki-ified without screaming HI, I’M A DISNEYANA FREAK! Try not to let your jealousy of my Rongo Bowl get the best of you.

7. Thou shalt reserve the right to endlessly bitch and moan about Disneyland in spite of commandment number six.


All the (much deserved) hype surrounding Toy Story Midway Mania prompted us to head over to Disneyland and take a spin on Buzz Lightyear’s Astro Blasters, which if you haven’t ridden it, can best be described as Midway Mania 1.0. Much to our chagrin the ride was in incredible disrepair. Several animatronics were broken, oodles of light-up-targets were dead in the water and the ride vehicles themselves were peeling, damaged and dirty. The picture above doesn’t do the public shaming of The Mouse proper justice. Bad show! It’s time to bring this attraction down for a much need refurbishment – the sooner the better.

NHL Suspends Owner Henry Samueli

I know the news is a day old, but the NHL suspended Ducks owner Henry Samueli after he pleaded guilty to backdating of options.While the team states that this “will not change the day-to-day operations of the team and the Samueli’s can still attend games as fans,” Henry cannot have a say in the operations of the team while under the leagues suspension. So readers, I ask you, should Henery Samueli remain as the owner of the Anaheim Ducks: [poll=8] 

Come Blog With Us

Looking for more variety here? Yeah me too.

Gina (one of our fearless Co-Captains) is out of town and has asked me to write a teeny tiny post inviting you all to come join our ranks and help us make this best damn blog on the network.

1. Leave a message in the comments. Make sure your message includes a link to a blog, homepage or a way for someone to get a hold of you.

2. If you don’t have a blog, gather and be prepared to submit (upon request) a few writing samples so our captains can take a look at them.

3. Hurry up and wait. This may take a little while but rest assured you have not been forgotten.

4. Smile with satisfaction that you have been able to follow a simple set of instructions, which is part of the criteria for throwing your hat in the ring.

There are some other requirments which we can handle adhoc but this should get us started. Got it? Good. We hope to blog with you soon!

Spotted at the Irvine Spectrum


Merriam-Webster defines “smocking” as follows: noun – a decorative embroidery or shirring made by gathering cloth in regularly spaced round tucks

So yeah. Don’t let me catch you doing any intricate needlework but please, feel free to smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.

The 10 Commandments of Orange County


Greetings my friends. Behold the 10 Commandments of Orange County!

  1. Thou shalt never ever ever ever take public transportation. Never. Ever.
  2. Thou shalt wear fake eyelashes, get fake boobs and sport fake tans – “fake” is the new “real”.
  3. Thou shalt always refer to our baseball team as the Anaheim Angeles no matter what their retarded brain dead owner renames them.
  4. Thou shalt knock down old strip malls and replace them with new and less exciting strip malls – for no apparent reason.
  5. Thou shalt always drive thy Hummer to Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s and Mother’s Market.
  6. Thou shalt embrace Disneyland in all of its glory!
  7. Thou shalt reserve the right to endlessly bitch and moan about Disneyland in spite of commandment number six. It’s our park and it’s a love/hate relationship.
  8. Thou shalt deny the existence of The Real Housewives of Orange County as something that actually exists in the universe. You can’t make me watch it… you can’t you can’t you can’t!!!
  9. Thou shalt not lie cheat and steal – unless it’s for a really good reason, like getting better grades.
  10. And last but not least…

  11. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s McMasnion.

The idea for this post was ripped off, er, I mean inspired by, a similar post over at the LA Metroblog

Don’t like the commandments I came up with? Want to add your own? Feel free to leave them in the comments.

Look! Up in the Sky!

If you were in the area of Anaheim looking toward the heavens Tuesday afternoon, you may have seen this! I was going to embed the video right into the page – but alas it seems our shiny new web site disagrees with YouTube’s embeding code. *sigh*

That’s right, those are Green Army Men parachuting into the toilet bowl blue waters at Paradise Pier inside Disney’s California Adventure. All of this was in celebration of the grand opening of Toy Story Midway Mania at the resort. The Mouse really put his best foot forward with this presentation, there was even a special video message sent from Buzz Lightyear and his fellow human astronauts from the International Space Station. That’s right, they are even promoting the opening of this new attraction in friggin’ outer space! So take that Pony Express/X2/Simpsons!

233 Couples Are Leading The Way

Over the past two days the OC Register reports that 233 Orange County couples picked up their marriage licensees – I’m assuming the quite a few of those were for same-sex couples. Many of those people were also married in civil ceremonies – although with idiot protesters at the courthouse the term “civil” is something of a misnomer.

Anywho, The Register ran a chaste picture of “man-hands“ that linked to some nice video about same-sex marriage in OC. Fair enough. Seems like a good representation of the events, while getting the idea of gay marriage across to the reader. Thankfully they opted not to take the route that LAist traveled, which was decidedly a half-naked-go-go-pride-studs-that-grab-your-attention-so-you-will-read-this-boring-article ploy. Of course I clicked. Nothing says ”gay people are basically the same everyone else“ like a picture that gives the average reader a scorching case of body dysmorphia.

[click to ”read it for the articles“]


They’re Being More Brazen

Mothers lock up your babies! Several different coworkers spotted more than one coyote trotting around east Anaheim this morning. Of course not one of the people managed to snap a picture for me. I wonder what’s flushing them out of the (admittedly sparse) wilderness areas and into the city? It’s quite unnerving to see these mangy skinny animals wandering the streets of an urban center. If you see one turn around and walk the other way.

Thar’s Gay in Them Thar Hills!

The headline screams “California braces for same-sex marriage gold rush”!

[insert tongue in cheek]

So this begs the question: Are you prepared? Do you have your gay-marriage preparedness kit? Do you have a supply of water, extra food and flashlights in case you encounter a gay marriage today? Do you know what to do if you or your (who pray who will protect the) children should unwittingly stumble into a gay marriage ceremony? No? Insert your favorite purple Miata joke here.

“Brace” yourself. This one is gonna be a big shaker the likes of which you have never seen! Prepare for the end is near! Orange County may lie in ruins before week’s end. The gay marriages are upon us and the county’s infrastructure may fail, water will be scarce and emergency services will be stretched to the breaking point. Look out for your basic end-times stuff: Flood, famine and rioting at the local Pottery Barn gift registry desk. Everyone’s coming to stake their big gay claim – just think of how this will negatively affect our economy.

You may want to steer clear of gay hot spots like Crate & Barrel, The County Clerk’s office and the local courthouses. For God’s sake don’t look these people people directly in the eyes. We wouldn’t want you to glean a bit of understanding or humanity from them. It’s safer if you just blindly hate. It’s what’s best for the stability of our local communities. Not unlike Raiders of the Lost Ark your face may melt if you don’t keep your eyeballs tightly ensconced behind your eyelids.

[remove tongue from cheek]

Yay! Today’s the big day. I’d like to wish all the best to LGBT residents of Orange County who are going to get their marriage licenses today. It’s been a long time coming and you deserve all the same rights as the rest of us, including the California community property laws (50/50 baby). Salut!

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